Why We Could Not Afford NOT to Send Our Daughter to Havern

When I first found Havern School in 2010 it was a professional haven for me as I was on the verge of leaving special education completely. I was a public school special education teacher with no kids, so I had no way of knowing that it would also become an educational haven for my children in 2023. My personal and professional lives converged in a way I never expected, and the journey of sending our daughter to Havern School has been one of the most transformative decisions we’ve made as a family.

Despite starting kindergarten in 2020, our daughter could not have been more excited to begin her educational journey. From the moment she could hold a book, she had wanted to read. We are forever grateful that she had a quintessential kindergarten teacher during the pandemic, someone who made learning come alive in both in-person and virtual settings. Her teacher created a joyful and supportive classroom, and our daughter thrived on that happiness.

However, beneath the surface of that joy, there were lingering concerns especially given our family history of learning disabilities and ADHD. Although she never met a single milestone on her reading assessments—except for comprehension—her general education teachers constantly reassured us of how "good" she was doing. As parents, we found those words comforting on the surface, but we couldn’t shake the feeling that she was capable of much more than "good." We knew she was a bright, curious girl, and that something was missing.

She remained happy at our neighborhood elementary school from kindergarten through second grade, but as parents, we couldn’t afford another year of “good enough.” We knew the path ahead for her could become steeper as she progressed through school, and we were not willing to wait until it became too overwhelming for her.

As a former public school special education teacher, I had an understanding of the system and knew that she would not qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in Colorado. This left us in a difficult place. While we had the instinct that she needed more tailored support, we needed more clarity to figure out what that might look like. Even though I might be biased toward the Zarlengo Learning Evaluation Center, professionally I know the incredible job they do with psychoeducational evaluations. Seeking answers, we decided to have her evaluated there.

The results were both clarifying and overwhelming: dyslexia, anxiety, and ADHD. These diagnoses helped explain why she was struggling in ways that weren’t always visible to others but were deeply felt by us as her parents. We shared her evaluation with her school, hopeful that this new information would spark a change in approach. But as second grade progressed, it became clear that nothing had changed. Despite the diagnoses, there was no meaningful shift in how she was being supported in the classroom.

We realized we couldn’t afford to lose any more time. Expectations were only going to increase in third grade, and we were watching our daughter’s self-esteem decrease with each passing day. Her struggles were slowly chipping away at the bright, excited child who had once been so eager to learn. That was a combination we simply couldn’t afford to continue.

It wasn’t just the academics that worried us. There were also mounting social concerns. Our daughter, always the social butterfly, was facing emotional challenges that impacted her relationships. Her anxiety and ADHD often caused her to misinterpret social cues, and she became highly sensitive to rejection. She typically masked at school, acting like everything was okay, but emotional outbursts and frustrations started to increase, and we began to hear more and more about her struggles to maintain friendships. Each night, she would pour her heart out to us—full of sadness, confusion, and a desire to make sense of her social world. While we were exhausted from hearing about these struggles, we couldn’t even imagine the emotional toll it was taking on her to live through them.

At that point, we knew something had to change.

Finding Havern School felt like a lifeline—not just for our daughter, but for me as well. Many years ago, as a burnt out special education teacher, Havern had been a professional lifeline for me. Now, it was a place that truly understood our daughter—not just her academic struggles but her whole profile, including the social and emotional pieces. Havern wasn’t about “good enough”; it was about unlocking potential, nurturing confidence, and addressing each child as a complex individual.

And the results have been nothing short of transformative. Last year, during her 3rd-grade year at Havern, she finally learned to read. Watching her open up a book and dive into stories on her own for the first time was a moment we’ll never forget. But that wasn’t all—our daughter, who has always been more reserved when it comes to performing, also starred in a school play. Not only did she step onto that stage, but she sang in front of everyone. In a family of non-singers, this was a monumental and unexpected leap.

As we look ahead, we are filled with excitement for what 4th grade will bring. Havern has given her the tools and the confidence to face new challenges, and for the first time, we feel like the sky’s the limit for our daughter. After everything, we can truly say that we could not afford not to send her to Havern School.